BAD Reads
L'Shanah Tovah, George Allen
("L'shanah tovah" is the equivalent of "happy new year!" at Rosh Hashanah. Which I'll get to tomorrow......)
Dear George,
Now that your mother has finally let you in on her little secret, let me welcome you to our tribe.
Now don't think, George, that coyly telling reporters that you had a ham sandwich for lunch, and that your mom makes great pork chops is going to turn you back into a gentile. Heck, Jews have been eating pork in Chinese restaurants for decades--and there always were shrimp in those eggrolls too. Besides, plenty of Jews don't keep kosher. I grew up eating ham and bacon--my mother would still serve them if she wasn't so health conscious these days!
It always comes back to the mothers, doesn't it? And having a Jewish mother officially makes you Jewish. Just like my kids are Jewish because I am, while my brother's boys are not because his wife is a (very nice) shiksa.
Hey, while we're thinking about mothers, Jesus had a Jewish mother! So that means something else you can profess to have in common with him. Right along with those other views you share, like "love thy neighbor" regardless of race, creed or color and all those bits about taking care of the poor and needy. I mean, you've never SHOWED you have those views, but I'm sure now they'll all come out into the light.
So cheer up, cowboy. You may not be quite so popular among those good old boys at the shad planking events, but I'm sure B'Nai Brith and Hadassah and the rest would love to have you come and have gefilte fish with them.
Sadly though, I've got to say this, George. As far as I'm concerned, you'll never be a landsman of mine. You remind me of my Uncle Alex ( may he rest in peace) who was a loud, ignorant, prejeudiced bully. It was an embarassment to have him for an uncle and it was an embarassment to have you in Richmond as our governor.
And if it's a choice between having you, a minion of that other George across the river (you've voted 96 percent of the time along with him) or a Reagan Democrat , I'll go with the Reagan Democrat any day of the week. Especially if he's someone who's actually served in the military, has a son serving in Iraq and still has the guts to say we're in this war for the wrong reasons.......
So l'shanah tovah, George. And my Rosh Hashanah wish is that you (and many of your fellow travelers) will be packing up your cowboys boots (and your office) and riding into the sunset out of DC when the January 1 version of New Year's Day comes around.
Shalom,
The Library Lady
