BAD Reads
Last Dance
SC is going to call her ballet teacher--hopefully talk to her face to face--and tell her that she is not coming back to ballet.
We'd discussed her going just once a week. We'd also discussed her helping Lynne with the younger kids as well. Lynne is planning a <gag> Disney theme for next June's recital and SC was going to dance Mu Lan--the only "princess" type character she likes.
But she wants to quit.
It's not fun anymore. She doesn't want to put the work into it that it requires to be good enough to dance.
She could do it. She just doesn't care enough to do so.
It's complicated. SC has been in Lynne's classes since she was about 6 and except for a 2 year break when Lynne was out of the country, she's danced with her ever since.
And Lynne is not just her dance teacher, she is a close family friend--my almost sister. She's known me for 20 years. She's known SC since she was little and loves her like a niece.
Lynne's own daughter stopped dancing at 15. So it's not that she's going to freak at SC's stopping on that basis.
But SC doesn't have any other outside interests. She doesn't call friends after school, or e-mail them.She comes home from school, sits in her room, listens to her music, reads and draws.
That's it.
In ballet she had something she was good at, something she ENJOYED. And she's pushing it away now.
I can't impose my own feelings on this, but I am. I love to dance so much. And this is one of the few things we had in common, that we did together, that we shared.
I feel as if she's pulling away from me, that she doesn't want me.
She just wants Nanay back. And no matter how much I love her, it's not enough. And I'm her MOTHER!
I'm not going to put up footage of her June solo even if I can get it to run properly.
The joy was gone from it.
Instead, here again is that dance she did in December with her classmate Emily.
That's my girl on the right side of the screen.
I watch it, and see how good she was when she put her heart into her dancing.
How much fun, how much happiness dance brought her then.
How good she was And that's what I'm going to remember.
