Note to those of you who proclaim yourselves prominently on your blogs that you are "Christians":
You might just want to skip this post because it's about some ideas that don't fit your view of the universe. If you feel that you are "saved" and that those of us who do not share your belief system are going to hell, you're probably not interested in my blog anyway. After all, I'm Jewish, and an agnostic Jew at that.
 BTW,I may read your blogs on Thursdays,but I don't comment, because I am perfectly happy to allow you your point of view. But I have a feeling I'm not welcome to your party.

On the other hand, be you Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan or anything else, and you feel that it's just possible that someone else might have a line to a higher power besides yourselves, read on. I welcome ALL comments, aside from trolls...

This thirteen has come about because I am hopping mad about something I read in today's NY Times. An older gentleman turned away from Barack Obama when he approached him in an Indiana diner, and told a reporter:
"I can’t stand him. He’s a Muslim. He’s not even pro-American as far as I’m concerned.”

Well, Mr Indiana, in the first place Obama is NOT a Muslim. But what if he was?

I lhave no truck with ANY organized religion. But I live in Northern Virginia where we have a large Muslim population. Both of the women who took care of my daughters when they were infants and toddlers, the women who were their second mothers, were Muslims. I have Muslim co-workers and Muslim kids go to school with my kids.

The Muslims that I know work their asses off to get ahead, want their children to succeed and are as devoted a bunch of AMERICANS as any group of flag waving, church going white Christian folk you'd happen to meet. They're tolerant and polite and I'm proud to know them.

So here are:

THIRTEEN THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ISLAM--BUT PROBABLY DON'T
 

1) Arabs make up only 15% of the world's Muslim population. The country with the largest population of Muslims is Indonesia. Large numbers of Muslims are  found in Asia (69%), Africa (27%)and Europe.

2)Jews and Christians are called "People of the Book," meaning people who have received previous revelations from God.  The Koran commands Muslims to protect from harm not only mosques, but also monasteries, synagogues, and churches -- because "God is worshipped therein."

3)Islam considers Judaism and Christianity to be predecessors of Islam, and worthy of respect:

"The same religion has He established for you as that which He enjoined on Noah - the which We have sent by inspiration to thee - and that which We enjoined on Abraham, Moses, and Jesus: Namely, that ye should remain steadfast in religion, and make no divisions therein: to those who worship other things than Allah, hard is the (way) to which thou callest them. Allah chooses to Himself those whom He pleases, and guides to Himself those who turn to Him." 

4)The Koran names many prophets and most come from the Old and New Testaments:

"The Messenger believes in what has been revealed to him from his Lord, as do the men of faith. Each one of them believes in God, His angels, His books, and His Messengers. They say: 'We make no distinction between one and another of His Messengers.' And they say: 'We hear, and we obey. We seek Thy forgiveness, Our Lord, and to Thee is the end of all journeys.'"(Al-Baqarah, 2:285))

5)Among the figures considered prophets by Islam:Adam, Noah,Abraham,Isaac,Jacob,Joseph, David, Solomon and John. Sound familiar to those of you who read the Bible?

6)Moses is considered one of the greatest prophets, because he received the Ten Commandments, one of the sets of words God sent before sending Mohammed:

Moreover, We gave Moses the Book, completing (Our favour) to those who would do right, and explaining all things in detail, and a guide and a mercy, that they might believe in the meeting with their Lord. And this is a Book which We have revealed as a blessing: so follow it and be righteous, that ye may receive mercy: Lest ye should say: "The Book was sent down to two Peoples before us, and for our part, we remained unacquainted with all that they learned by assiduous study:" {Koran 6:154-56}

7)While Muslims do not regard Jesus as divine and do not believe in the Trinity, they believe him to  be one of the greatest prophets sent by God. The Koran includes accounts of his virgin birth, his teachings, and the miracles he performed. It is also believed that he was sent by Allah to prepare the way for the Prophet Mohammed

8)Mary (Maryam) is thought to be an angel or a saint and a chapter of the Koran is named for her.

9)While Islam believes that the faithful go to Paradise, it does not shut out other believers:

Those who believe [in the Koran], and those who follow the Jewish, and the Christians, and the Sabians, any who believe in God and the Last Day, and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

10)Muslims keep their food halal, which translates to "permissible". Like Jews they cannot eat pork or pork products, or animal blood. Meat must be slaughtered by a halal butcher who kills quickly and says a prayer asking God (Allah)'s permission to take the animal for food. There is no "milk with meat" prohibition such as exists in Jewish kosher laws. There is some disagreement about whether seafood is halal.

11)Muslims are forbidden to drink alcohol.

12)Zakat-- the tithing  of at least 2 1/2 percent of one's income to the poor and needy is one of the pillars of Muslim.

13)The six "Articles of Faith" of Islam are:

• Faith in the unity of God
• Faith in angels
• Faith in prophets
• Faith in books of revelation
• Faith in an afterlife
• Faith in destiny/divine decree

 All right now.
Take a look at all that and answer me again: so what if Obama WAS a Muslim?
But he isn't...........

 Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

But sometimes it does!

It's just a pound or so, and every board I'm seeing at Weight Watchers says this is normal and happens.
But I was doing so well, durnit!

Oh well. To paraphrase one of my favorite lines in John Irving's Hotel New Hampshire, it's time for fewer bananas and more roadwork.

The weather's beautiful and the pollens are low enough not to bug me. Back to walking in the mornings I don't have ballet class.......... 

 THIRTEEN THINGS I'D RANT ABOUT THIS WEEK IF I HAD THE TIME
(But I Don't)

2)The nanny who ignored her charge and didn't even get up when he fell during Mother Goose time and hit his head with a clunk.
I stopped what I was doing and picked him up. Only then, did she bother to get off her fat butt, and she didn't seem concerned in the least!

3)The other nanny who looked at me as if I was nuts when I told her not to let her charge run around in the library.
I had to invoke the "we have metal shelves and I don't want books to fall on her head" routine. But since when is it EVER okay to let a kid run around in the library? 

4)The supermommy clique at JR's school.
Because we had a nice, friendly,culturally diverse school until they pulled their kids from their local  schools and stuck them in ours. (The reason was "No Child" problems, but the truth is those school weren't white enough to make them happy. And those schools really needed those kids and their moms. Their energies could have been thrown into making those schools as good as ours. Instead, they're turning the school into their own little private (white) paradise and making me count the years until JR gets out!

5)"Gifted and Talented" Programs
 Because most of the children in the ones I see are neither. They're just economically and socially advantaged.

6)My neighbor with her pwecious (spelling intentional) "Puggsley" and "Prisssy"
I could stand the nauseating names if she kept the little rats on leashes. But she frequently lets them run free on our common (which is again the rules) and they have rushed at my kids. And now JR has bad dreams about them and is afraid to play outside on the lawn. 

7)The women who are going to come to the consignment sale tomorrow night with babies in tow (even though they're not supposed to) because their spouses won't "babysit".
At my house, we call that "parenting". And the Man does more than his share of it.
N.B. I am not dissing single moms or folks with a spouse in the military. But anyone with an able bodied spouse who comes home at 6PM should get her family some takeout, teach Daddy how to change a diaper, and get out once in a while. And Daddy should be all for it--after all, didn't he have a share in making those kids?

8)  The moronic parents who think that teen drivel such as "Hannah Montana" and "Zoey 101" are appropriate for their 8 year olds, then cluck when the stars of these shows act their age.
Why do you want your daughters watching shows about boy crazy, fashion hyper, materialistic teens anyway?
I banned all the live action crap on Disney/Nick. I'd rather my daughter watches "Sponge Bob" or "The Fairly Odd Parents" any day of the week. And you might want to check out "The Mighty B", a cartoon about a 10 year old who isn't glam or hip, but happy in being HERSELF!!!!

9) Every American who's sucker enough to think that the "vacation from the gas tax" idea is more than a pacifier set up by Hillary and John to win votes.
You'll end up saving about 15 cents a day, and paying even more when the tax ends. Plus everyone will go hog wild on gasoline and we'll end up with a nice shortage. Anyone but me old enough to remember 1979 and even/odd days for buying gas? Remember the little thing called "pollution" and that pesky "greenhouse gases" situation we're dealing with now?

10)Everyone involved in  "American Idol"
I am sick of seeing a bunch of low talent clods who have no knowledge of musical history before 2003 up there "killing me softly with  their songs"--especially when they're songs that I love.
(And I suppose they wouldn't recognize where that line came from either)
Most of the folks up there are NOT musicians, they are pop flavors of the month--and BAD pop flavors of the month at that.

11)Everyone who is talking about Reverend Wright, bowling scores and anything else that doesn't have to do with what matters in an election. Unimportant little things like the economy, the Iraq war, the education of our children--stuff like that.
As Elizabeth Edwards put it so beautifully (and oh how I wish John Edwards would step in and endorse Obama)in the New York Times last week:
We are choosing a president, the next leader of the free world. We are not buying soap, and we are not choosing a court clerk with primarily administrative duties.

12)The Entire Clinton Family
Day to day, I feel better and better about having voted for Obama. Hillary continues to say anything anywhere if it will get her a vote, while he holds to his principles. I'm starting to wish that I could take back my 2 votes for Bill in the 90s. And here's a tip for you both--Hillary is not entitled to the White House for standing by you through all of your crap while in office, Billy Boy.

As for Chelsea, that little sweetie works for a hedge fund. Know what one is?
I do because my brother-the-robber-baron is the assistant manager of one top fund and has been known to go to cocktail parties for  Deutche Bank with guests like Donald Trump!
A hedge fund is a private investment fund. You have to have at least one MILLION dollars to invest in such a fund. The fund Chelsea works for handles 12 BILLION dollars in assets and specializes in "Distressed Debt"
As in foreclosures.
And then Hillary talks about Obama being an elitist? She should look closer to home!!!

13) The New York Times

Because they endorsed Hillary and have spent the last two months writing editorials against her positions.  Do the right thing, Times editorial board. Confess to your error and withdraw your endorsement!!!

Well, it's a pound and a half-- more than last week's change, which was NONE. And considering that it was the "time of the month" when I am always hungry, I'm pleased that I did it. Plus, I'm about 1/3 of the way to my goal.
BTW, need some inspiration for weight loss? 
Try a "virtual model" here and look at a "before" and "after".

Happy Monday. Hope it's dryer wherever you are than it is here. If this keeps up, we'll need an ark.....

I had to deal with our dotty part-time librarian who for some reason decided to be helpful to a young patron and log him onto a computer. I still don't get this. Normally she doesn't want to go near the computers, let alone help anyone with them!
Anyway, the patron who was scheduled to be next on the computers took exception to her logging on someone who wasn't even here and words were exchanged. So the guy came down to the desk asking for the manager--which today was ME--and I had to take care of this. I got him onto the computer, but Dotty got upset and flounced off, slamming the office door. Meanwhile I apologized to the guy--he'd been upset, but not as much as Dotty!

Next, one of our regular homeless guys, who I have had some interesting exchanges with (!) came up saying that he'd have to wait a half hour for a computer, so couldn't I just look up this address on Mapquest for him?  "This address" proved to be that on a driver's license on a wallet he was holding out to me--not his own.  I told him that I couldn't do that, and that if he'd found the wallet, he could give it to us and we'd put it in the lost and found. He shook this off and said he'd just have to wait. I don't know whether he'd found the wallet or been given it by someone else who had "found" the wallet, but my guess is that he was planning on taking it to the house and trying to get a reward!

Several minutes later the security guard came up to tell me that a little boy's father said he'd seen a naked man in the men's bathroom. (Note to parents--don't send kids into public bathrooms alone!). We went with the father to investigate, opened the bathroom door, and reeled at the smell! By then the guy had apparently scuttled into one of the stalls, and when he eventually came out, our guard identified him as one of the homeless guys who falls asleep regularly upstairs.
For those of you who aren't familiar with homeless in libraries, odds were that the guy was trying to take a bath. We get this a lot, especially during the warm weather. From the smell, he needed one. But he also had no bag and hence no change of clothes to put on.....

Homeless Guy with the wallet came over and reported he'd found the address and that it was a "very nice neighborhood". I hope he took the bus down there and found no one home!

All of this took place in less than half an hour.
And I'm gonna get the reference manager come Monday. He left early and said everything was quiet upstairs!!!!!

 Thursday Thirteen

 I'm not  much of an Oprah fan. I think she's in love with herself, that all her do-gooding is designed to show how wonderful she is, and that her book club picks tend to be the same tear jerkers over and over again.

But occasionally if I'm home I'll surf over to see if Dr Mehmet Oz is on. And if he is, I smile.
Because on April 23, 2006, Dr Oz saved my dad's life by performing a quadruple heart bypass.

We only met him briefly. But he really was as sweet in person as he is on TV.
I didn't know he would soon be famous. All I knew was that it was my father's 81st birthday and that he was going to be okay.

Today is my dad's 87th birthday. Despite asthma, COPD, the defibrillator he got back in 2006 and a host of other small annoyances, he is still going strong. His mind is as sharp as ever--perhaps even sharper. He still drives--and I'd far rather he was driving than my mom--she's 11 years younger but a VERY nervous driver!

I went on Wikipedia to find out who else was born on Dad's birthday. I knew he shared it with two famous people, but it turns out that there are dozens of famous people born on April 23 . They range from royalty to television stars. So here, in approximately reverse birth order are:

 1)Valerie Bertinelli   VALERIE BERTINELLI? Hmm. Well she IS a brunette like Dad used to be...

2)Michael Moore   Now this I can see. My Dad is a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat, passionate about what's being done to our country and hates W even more than I do

3)Roy Orbison    I'm not sure Dad's familiar with him. He prefers classical guitar--real CLASSICAL  guitar that is. Stuff like John (not the Star Wars guy)Williams and Angel Romero

4)Sandra Dee Dad's more into dark haired women--Mom's hair was jet black when she was young. But I bet he saw lots of her movies!

5)Lee Majors   Yup, the Six Million Dollar Man himself. He wouldn't have needed glasses for that bionic eye, but if he did, Dad would have written him the perfect eyeglass prescription--he's an optometrist.

6)Herve Villechaize   A.K.A. "Tattoo" on "Fantasy Island. NOT a show my dad would've watched.

7)Halston The fashion designer. Dad's never been a fashion buff, but I remember how debonair he looked in a full tux at my brother's wedding!  

8)Shirley Temple  You might've know this one already. I'd bet my dad might have seen some of her films as a kid, but my guess is he and his brothers went to the gangster movies instead. And his favorite actor of the period was Al Jolson!

9)Michel Fokine One of the greatest ballet choreographers, from the time of Diaghilev and the Ballet Russe. My dad never danced ballet, but when I was little he liked to clown around and pretend to dance. And he is very proud of his granddaughters' ballet talents--I just wish he was up to coming down in June for their recital!

10)James Buchannan    One of our most mediocre Presidents, though W is giving him a good run for his money. Hope Dad doesn't know about sharing a birthday with this guy...

11)Stephen Douglas     As in the Lincoln-Douglas debates. Dad will like this-- I get my deep interest in history from him. His favorite historical figure to read about is Benjamin Franklin,but I think he's read a fair amount about Lincoln too.

12)Max Planck  Father of quantum physics. But he did nothing to save Jewish colleagues in WWII Berlin. Considering that we lost whatever relatives remained in Poland to the Nazis, I don't think my father would be proud of this any more than I am of sharing MY birthday with the Bush twins!

13)William Shakespeare   This is the one most people would know. Being a Shakespeare buff, I'm tickled by this myself!

Happy birthday to my dad. I'm prouder to be his daughter than I would be to be related to anyone listed here.And I hope he'll keep going strong for many birthdays to come.... 

I had an adorable toddler girl in my lap and an equally cute(but far more serious) toddler girl leaning on my shoulder during Mother Goose Time today. Meanwhile a charming little boy kept trying to get me to wear his baseball cap: "Hat! Hat!"

I had 25 2 to 4 year olds listening to me sing "The Little White Duck" and dancing to "If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands", and helping me sing "Five Little Ducks" and "Five Speckled Frogs"

This afternoon I spent an hour on the reference desk and actually had a whole number of REFERENCE questions, and everyone I helped said "thank you".
I had to giggle though because a tourist lady wanted to know if I was just the "computer person" or did I answer reference questions? I told her that actually it WAS the reference desk--that the computer stuff is supposed to be the extra job!

Madame(I have an "orange passport")Crazy from last Tuesday was already logged onto her computer when I got there. And she only raised her voice to talk to her invisible companion once, so I didn't have to confront her about it!

The sun has actually emerged from the clouds and the rain has stopped, and hopefully will stay away for a few days.

I'm still a little grouchy. 

But (as John Astin used to say as an ex-mental patient on one of my favorite shows: "Night Court":

" I'm feeling MUCH better now!" 

 You'll notice, if you've been watching, that there is no additional loss this week. I'm still where I was last week.

I'd be grumpy about that--I AM a bit grumpy about it, but I can attribute it to normal monthly bloat, and I am just thanking my stars that I've been able to keep my chocolate cravings in check. I'm just going to stay on track for my eating this week, go to ballet class (and exercise really DOES help cramps, BTW) and I really believe that next week the scale will move again--downwards, that is!

I am more grumpy because my back hurts from a muscle pull last week (though ballet seems to soothe that too), because of the aforementioned cramps, and because I had 60 billion kazillion things to do this weekend and got next to none of them done.
Instead, we took a water taxi trip along the Potomac into DC on Saturday and I took JR to see "Nim's Island" yesterday--she really wanted to go. Both were fun outings, but not what I NEEDED to be doing....

And did I mention I have to get all the stuff to to the consignment sale next Monday, that it all has to be checked and tagged and priced and I haven't had time to do any of it? Or that the Man was supposed to get even more stuff from storage--I've asked him three times at least and he STILL hasn't done it? 

Or that JR got her second absolutely mediocre report card in a row (after honor roll first quarter) and a letter from the school because she's been late 15 times? And that the social worker probably thinks I'm a frimpin' loon now because I left her a lengthy message telling her that I'd LOVE to have JR to school on time, but the child futzes around and doesn't seem to get the word LATE, and sorry, I'm not one of the SAHM crew who permeate the place these days, I'm just a working mom doing the best she can?

She didn't return my call. I wonder if she was startled because our last name is Spanish and she expected I didn't speak English.I've never had a reason to deal with the social worker before and don't plan to again!
Meanwhile JR is ticked today because I said she can't do "Take Your Daughter To Work Day" this week. Not only does she KNOW durned well what I do, she needs to be in school. And she's doing "Turn Off the TV Week" this week, you betcha!

And it's been raining for 2 days.Truthfully, all I want to do right now is go home, crawl into bed with the cats and eat a large bar of CHOCOLATE! 

But instead, I've taken the coward's way out and canceled my morning program--it's pouring anyway, which should scare most people off.  And I'll get on with my Monday..........

 It's National Library Week, so I probably should be doing something uplifting about books and reading.
But I'm not.

Between the nasty mom on the phone this morning (I stopped her nanny from coming twice to my program this week), the tacky basket of treats from Costco that is our administration's way of celebrating "National Library Worker Day", and the mishegosse from this recent "US News and World Report" piece touting librarianship as a "hot career" and telling people to "Forget about that image of librarian as a mousy bookworm", I am ready to rant about my job. So here are:

  Important Disclaimer: Most of our patrons are wonderful
and DON'T do most of these things.
Though too damn many of them do #13!

1) They leave the stuffed animals all over the floor under the sign that says "please help your child clean up the toys"

2)They bring in food even though the signs say "no food", and then leave Cheerio crumbs all over the place for the ants.

3)They bitch and whine at me because the program is on the same day their child has preschool, or Kindermusik or Gymboree. Why-in-heck do you need my program then?

4)They bitch and whine at me because we don't have infant programs. Sigh....

5)They bitch and whine at me because they can't send the nanny in more than once a week. Especially, when the nanny is one of those who doesn't do anything while she's in the program with the child and leaves early!
This morning's phone call was about one such nanny. Little does the mom know that the first month the nanny came, she and her fellow nanny didn't even come into the program--just sat outside, yakked, and got the kids a rubber stamp on their hands.

6)They bitch and whine at me because their child is a 6 month old genius, but I won't let them come to the program for 12-24 month olds. Or because their child is a 16 month old genius, but I won't let them come to the 2 year old program.Etcetera, etcetera.....

I am firmly convinced that every child in Northern Virginia is (gag) "gifted and talented".
Except for my two of course....

7)They allow their children to:
A)...stand on chairs, especially the rocking chairs, jump on chairs and push them around the room.

B)...climb onto and crawl under bookcases, even though they're made of sharp metal, and the shelves can tumble, fully loaded with books on top of their children.

C)...run through the aisles between said bookcases. See (B) above for why this isn't so good an idea.
And since when is it acceptable to allow your children to run in a library?

D)...wander unattended in a library where we have a steady population of the homeless, the chemically addicted and the just plain crazy.

8)They don't take books home even though they come to programs weekly.
Hel-lo-oh! We're a LIBRARY, remember!

9)Or they take books home and allow their children to rip, tear or otherwise mutilate them.

10)They shove damaged books in the drop rather than fessing up to it. Or just as bad, they "mend" them at home badly and with scotch tape.

On the other hand, I had a mother bring in her adorable blond two year old with his Thomas the Tank Engine piggy bank to confess that he had cut up the edges of a book (very neatly) with scissors, and to offer me money for his heinous crime. I returned the money behind his back, his mom is buying us a replacement copy, and we all can live happily ever after.

11) They sometimes don't bring books, or DVDs back at all.

12) (Say it with me, fellow sufferers) When asked (very nicely) to stop THEIR children from doing something, they turn to their child and say "The LIBRARIAN doesn't want you to do that"
Hey, lady, discipline YOUR child and take the responsibility for it. Don't make me make you come to my house and be the heavy for SC and JR!

13)Worst of all: they come to my library for programs for years (or send the nanny in with the kid), allow me to get to care about them and their children,  then disappear the minute the kid goes off to preschool and they no longer need entertainment in the mornings. And generally they don't even come back occasionally for library books.

I hate this more than anything else they do.
Because as crazy as some of the parents and caregivers make me, I love these kids...... 

April 15 is the day library staff used to dread. The entire world would converge on the library for forms, to use the Xerox machine, to ask us tax questions we couldn't answer.

For me it was the end of a whole season of misery. I used to work in a two floor library. The children's department was on the ground floor and the adult section upstairs.
The tax forms were upstairs. We had a sign on the door SAYING the forms were upstairs. One year I made a sign that went the length of the inside hallway saying "Tax Forms Upstairs", complete with arrows.

And still, every year from January to April, people would enter the children's department to ask where the tax forms were!

We also had fun (not) with volunteers from the AARP who were trained to do taxes for low-income folks and seniors, and set up shop twice a week in the long corridor between the children's department and the program room. Every Wednesday I fought a battle with several of the tax people(most notably a puff gut who was a retired Army colonel) because of the fact that the kids and the programs were making noise--I mean, so what if it's a CHILDREN'S department--we're doing TAXES here!
Fridays were fine because I had no programs and they could set up in the room. And to be fair, several of the gentlemen were sweethearts who helped me move the furniture in and out of the program room.

And have I mentioned the boxes and boxes and BOXES of tax forms that filled the hallways?

Nowadays most people do their taxes on computers and we get a minimum number of forms. The state doesn't even send us their forms any more. We have no meeting room so there's no AARP staff.
It's a lot more peaceful, but I still got several tax question phone calls during my ref stint today.

One was from a gentleman having trouble filing his state taxes. In Virginia you can file for FREE on the state site--you can just plug in info from your 1040Whatever.  Apparently he'd had some trouble doing it correctly (probably because he wasn't READING it carefully), but I gave him the web site address and told him where the tax file info is. Taxes aren't due in Virginia until May 1 anyway.

Second call was from a guy needing a 1099MISC, but the IRS website says the one on line is wrong, and if you use it you'll pay a $50 penalty. Huh? We don't have the form, it's a business form and we mainly have the personal ones. Suggest he call the Big Mausoleum a.k.a. our main branch--they probably have more forms. Wonder what sort of business he's running that he's not ready to file on April 15, and wonder why he doesn't get someone to do the forms for him.

The peace and tranquility that is now April 15 was broken however by a very large, very crazy lady who went ballistic when I got her name wrong by one letter for a computer sign-in, told me that the other name was EVIL and that if I called her that I was labeling her 903456, whatever the heck that mean, and then told me I was stupid. To which I told her that she needed to be polite because I was trying to help her!

Several minutes after logging in she came over to the ref desk and told me. "You have to treat me like an ordinary patron, even if I do have an orange passport (HUH?). You can't impose any of your right wing tyrannies on me (boy have you got a wrong number lady) that's the law!"

I told her "You're right ma'am," and she walked away.

You know, maybe dealing with the tax crazies was simpler than dealing with the Internet crazies!